Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
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If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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