Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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