Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
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I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
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No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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