is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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