Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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