8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize