That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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