i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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