You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize