hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize