I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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