I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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