Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
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Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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