You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize