I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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