I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize