I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize