My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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