i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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