Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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