I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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