Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I can text with my tongue
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
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So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
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The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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