There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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