I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
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They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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