Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize