We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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