dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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