If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
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On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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