At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize