I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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