i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
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The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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