i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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