Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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