I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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