Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
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I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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