The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
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Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
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You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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