I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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