Barsexuality is the new black.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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