Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
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how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
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her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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