i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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