sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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