he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize