if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize