We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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