I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Drunk is a universal language darling
I love you.
Bad choice
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