I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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