I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize