I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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