oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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