we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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