I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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